Empty Cereal Box

Views From Inside an Adoptee

June 29, 2006

Future and Past

We're slowly painting the rooms of our house. White. So everything looks large and filled with light and clean. I have one foot here and the other in Oregon, where my soul is pulling me. But first we have to sell our house. People like it. There is an intangible sense of rightness here, with all the plants and the simple, coziness of our bungalow. The cool breezes blow through all the rooms and there are many birds and flowers. The street is quiet and easy. I love it here. I just hung up several windchimes. The cuckoo clock in the bedroom reminds me of my childhood. It was made in Germany and it hung in our den with the fireplace and ticked faithfully on winter nights as we sipped hot cider with cinnamon sticks.

We want to move to Oregon. We have an estate sale and yard sales going to clean out as many material possessions as we can unload. I want to travel light now. No unnecessary burdens to weigh us down for what's coming--both in our lives and in the coming years on Earth where no doubt we will all be in crisis mode.

During my reunion, my birth uncle gave me a copy of the family genealogy book. I treasure it because it's all I have of my biological past. I discovered that my maternal side came originally from the Lake Lucerne area of Switzerland, where our heritage goes back to at least the 16th century. Amazing I can know this but not what it feels like to hug my mom or grandma or look into their eyes because they both died long before I found my family.

Dark Toblerone, from Switzerland, is my favorite chocolate bar in the whole world! Mmmmm. Yummmmmmy.

Something strange that my dreams, some distand memory in some part of me has always had images of forests and lakes, so similar to this Bird's Eye View of Switzerland that it's uncanny. (If you visit the Swissworld site, scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on "Arial views of different parts of Switzerland. On the link you can click on any link and it will open in Real Player and you will fly over that area of Switzerland like a bird--I think it's really cool.) I think it has a lot to do with my craving to be where there are multitudes of trees and lakes and streams.


Blogger Rhonda said...

Marie, I think it is positively wonderful you are following your heart to Oregon. For me, there is a serenity in that part of the country I find nowhere else - and I am completely unsettled living in the Midwest. I am here for practical reasons, but know I will one day have to find a way "home" to fully nourish my soul.

In the meantime, I'll be relying on your gorgeous photos . . .

Blogger momseekingpeace said...

oh goody you may be coming to Oregon, Rhonda I remember reading your blog saying your a native from here, which part?


Marie, did my last post get lost, I wrote a response to the last post but I dont know what happened to it.

Blogger Marie Jarrell said...

Rhonda-I have a blog called the Winds of Homecoming. I feel these winds from every direction. Call me crazy, but they are getting stronger. These winds aren't anything I can clarify. They are winds in a collective soul, if you will. My best wishes to you that one day you will be able to return Home.

MSP-Gosh no, I didn't get your last post. This isn't the first time a post didn't get through. Maybe you could email your posts to me (click the button on my sidebar for email) and I'll be sure and post it myself? I apologize for the trouble. No, I'm a native of California, but our whole family loves Oregon better--the people, the geography, the consciousness, etc.

Blogger cloudscome said...

Your bungalow sounds lovely. I am sure it will go quickly. I am looking forward to hearing more about your new adventures!


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