Empty Cereal Box

Views From Inside an Adoptee

June 09, 2006

What the Bleep?

Dang. Blogger has been down a long time. Long enough for me to re-think my post "On the Road to Find Out." You know, tweak a little here and there to clarify and update. And change the title.

Quick How do you feel now? How about now? And now? Do you even know?

I hate it when people ask me, "How are you?" And I say "Fine." And they say, "That's nice." ....WTF? What does fine mean? What does nice mean? Geez. George Carlin stuck pins into those vacuous words in one of his routines, and he's so right on. Well, let's see. My Fuzzy Feel o' meter shows I'm feeling anxious and restless. Could it be that my K is in Antiqua, Guatamala right now? You can check out her blog if you want to know what she's up to. We'll probably do Skype tonight.

The other reason must be that there aren't very many buyers out there to make offers on our house. This week the "offered by" sign went up on our fence. Our first and only offer fell through. A Realtor ™ made the offer, but since she "doesn't turn the pages very fast" (read: not too bright) she left out some important steps to qualifying for a loan, namely, she hadn't even put her condo on the market to produce the equity she would need. Um, aren't Realtors™ supposed to know stuff like that? I'm a tad worried about those who get certified as Realtors™ these days.

We had open house for agents yesterday, but only four showed up. Not a good sign. There are like 100 houses on the market for every buyer. Interest rates going up? Down? WTF? I was begging R two years ago to get things in order to sell before the poo hit the fan on the housing market. But he said "No. I'm Not Ready Yet ™." I asked him to define his term. Like any inquisitive person I wanted to know more. Like what's the definition of Terrorist ™? Or what does On Sale™ mean? Like everything else, his answer was kind of fuzzy and it trailed off into the ether. I couldn't get him to explain, so I shrugged and sighed and swallowed my anxiety.

I'm supposed to be going through stuff to put out for the moving sale we're having this weekend and cleaning the rooms. With this down market, I can't help but feel despair that we'll ever sell this little bungalow we call "Wulfhaus" (because it's occupied by a domesticated black "wolf," our dog Kenya).

Last weekend we hauled a truckload of castoff posessions to the fairgrounds fleamarket. We sold about half the stuff, but it was a slow day since everyone escaped to the beach in the hot weather. I got so sunburned that my left arm has big red scorchmarks on it, as if I held it over the stove or satan himself grabbed me by the arm with big long bony fingers. The sun is getting horrendously dangerous to be under.

The picture below show my nascent "square foot" garden, which I'll probably be around to harvest in the fall if our house doesn't sell. As it is, I put the seeds in late because of our travels. The plants should be two or three times the size they are.

Yeah, the housing market is cooling more every day and there aren't that many buyers out there like there were, say, six months ago. This is California where the prices balooned so far out of line that owners/sellers can't find buyers who can get approved for loans with this economy taking a dump.

All I want to do is get a fair price, get rid of everything, pack in the essentials and get on the road to Find Out (a netherworld place, homage to Cat Stevens). To be gypsies once again, taking each day as it comes, riding with the moment.

If I stop to think about all the stuff I have to do I think I'll go nuts, so I just try to work with what's in front of me, one room at a time, one step at a time. Take my books, for example, the ones I've been collecting all of my life. I told myself I'll only allow myself enough books to fit into one case. The rest must be sold or donated. But books aren't exactly good sellers. I donated $1,000-worth of books to the library last year. Looks like I'll be doubling that this year.

The books in the picture above are only a fraction of those I have to go through. I have to make the excruciating choices to fit them into the case on the right. Now how am I supposed to do that? I'm a hardcore bibleophile. Rule of thumb: If I haven't picked up a book in a year, it's dispensable. At least that's how I'm going to fly by the seat of my pants.

I took the Jung Personality Test today and the results showed that my archetype is "Journalist" with an uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama for me, it says.

Last month a teabag tag fortune, which I tucked over my kitchen counter said, "An adventure will change your life." Well, I hope it's true. Now it's time to get back to packing and freaking out.
Did you check out the adoption movie data base below yet? (wink*wink)


Blogger HeatherRainbow said...

hey ((marie)) Yeah, these are not the times for selling. I am so going to check out your movies. :)

FINE: Fucked-up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional. ;)

Blogger Marie Jarrell said...

Heatherrainbow-LOL! Gonna remember that one. Thanks for stopping in. :)


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