Empty Cereal Box

Views From Inside an Adoptee

October 22, 2006

Yeah! Sweet Chestnut

It's probably not a good idea to post blogs when I'm feeling low, but the last two entries I did anyway, since everything isn't always roses and chocolates. It's the truth about my life, so there it is. When I feel that low, I stay away from posting on other blogs, since I don't want to leave a trail of tears wherever I go. That's just not cool.

Then yesterday at the local organic grocery store I wandered into the natural remedy section and discovered that they had put Bach Flower Remedies on sale through the end of the month. I've had some good results with these remedies in the past, but since they are so quiet and subtle, I usually don't think about them until I see them somewhere. I studied the book the store keeps nearby that describes each of the 38 remedies, how they interact with our emotional states, how they change stress and negativity into positive and calm outlooks. To the Red Chestnut and Aspen that I'd been taking on an irregular basis, I decided to add Sweet Chestnut, to see what would happen.

After you choose which flower essence(s) most fit(s) your emotional symptom picture, what you can do is to either take two drops (they seem just like water) by mouth or add four drops of as many essences as fit your symptom picture to 30 ml of water. You can take four drops as many times a day as necessary to allevieate whatever symptoms you need to calm. I did this and after only two doses, my deep sense of despair lifted and I actually feel more normal now. These essences don't cover up things, they help the mind-body system to release and heal the old past stress and painful memories. Now at least I can sit and meditate with a lighter heart. Today I don't have that heavy weight of depression bearing down on my center. I actually feel "normal," whatever that means. It's as though my cellular structure opened up and started to breathe again.

I'm not a professional therapist, so I can't say where/when this depression began or what caused it. All I know is that for as long as I can remember, I've always felt temporary. I've always obsessed about my true origins. I've always felt alone and often on the edge of despair. I imagine other adoptees know what I'm saying. I don't know if other adotpees go through such tenacious depression, and if they do, what they do about it. But I firmly believe that these are soul scars and that no amount of therapy can heal the origin of the wound. It can only attempt to make us feel better about ourselves so that we can function in the world we've been given.

When you can't afford health insurance and you are unemployable like I am, therapy is out of the question anyway. I don't think self medication is the answer when it comes to drugs. But Bach Flower Remedies aren't drugs. They are essences of plants and they are unaffected by other medicines nor do they interfere with other medicines. Whenever I choose the correct remedy, I feel like a new person. I can't recommend them highly enough to anyone willing to give them a try.

Also, exercise has a great effect of release. I love to ride my bicycle along the Springwater Trail on the east shore of the Willamette River here in Portland. I snapped a few photos the other day that I thought I'd share here.

This is a shot of Portland, Southwest, the downtown area, across the Willamette River, which flows from south to north, that divides the city in half. Then a street called Burnside, which runs east and west, divides it into quarters. So everything is mapped out accordingly: Southwest, Northwest, Southeast, and Northeast. There's also plain North, too, near the Columbia River, which creates the border with Washington.

This is looking up at Ross Island Bridge. Eleven bridges connect the west side of Portland with the east side. This is why people call it Bridgetown. But it's also called Stumptown (because once all the trees were cut down to build the city, all that was left were stumps); also called Beantown (coffee is king here along with microbreweries); also called P-town; also called Rose City because roses grow everywhere. I'll write more about this city from time to time in future posts.

[note: some browsers for some reason read the comments here as zero, but there actually are comments, if you care to read them.]



Blogger Joy said...

Therapy can be harmful anyway, it is so hard to find a good therapist, most are dumb as dirt and don't understand other people that is why they are interested in studying human behavior, the ones that are wonderful truly are wonderful amazing special beacons, I found my shrink by using the state mental health services a long time ago, I got lucky, but I am here, I am listening, I am not afraid of the darkness, I have been their with my deep tap root (S.plath) I am just an email away dear one. Glad to see you blogging again.

Blogger Mia said...

Welcome back! ;o)

I have experimented with Bach with some success as well. Do you know what the shelf life is on them by chance?

Blogger Marie Jarrell said...

Joy-Thanks. You bring tears to my eyes. You are really one awesome angel. If we all could only see how beautiful we really are, what a release it would be. The only way I know how to get all this stuff out is to write about it, and to write a LOT about it.

Mia-Glad you stopped by. I've read that Bach Flower Remedies have about a five-year shelf life, but I have a feeling that if kept properly in cool darkness, they might keep longer? I seem to be on the edge emotionally lately, so I'll probably write more on the remedies here.


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