Hello Again Everyone

Finally. After nearly two months I've returned to blog at Empty Cereal Box. I have a great deal to write about and a great many blogs to catch up on, to read what everyone has been doing and experiencing.

I even have a place to live here in my new city Portland, at least for the time being. I decided it was time to get back to exchanging thoughts with other adoptees and natural moms because days like today, when I feel the full effects of being homeless all of my life, of not ever feeling at Home even in the midst of my husband and children, I get so down that I can't imagine facing another day. I read Rilke and I can breathe again for awhile. Or I stumble across passages in books or lines in movies, like "When nothing is certain, everything is possible," and I get a tiny glimmer of a door that could have been open. How can I express my longing to be Elsewhere?

At any rate, I'm back to pour it out onto the page, for what it's worth, here in Portland where I'm hitting the wall of my own self. It's getting too late to write much tonight, but I'll be back online tomorrow to dive in again. I feel so distant right now, from everyone, from myself, from everything I once knew. A big part of my heart still reaches out toward other adoptees here in the blogosphere, about the only place where I feel understood. Also, Momseekingpeace has sent me an email asking where I am, so it's time to be here again. See you tomorrow.